Are you in a Toxic Relationship? Is the toxicity draining you, your future, and your ability to succeed?
Whether you’re running a business, working with a partner, leading an organization, or managing a team, the last thing you need is a toxic relationship. Tolerating toxic behavior is not only draining for you, it is draining for others around you as well.
Here are some signs to help you recognize a toxic relationship:
- All take, no give. Do you feel you give and give and do not seem to get anything back? Are you the one who shows up time and time again trying to make the relationship better? Any relationship in which you experience withdrawals of energy without deposits will leave you in the negative.
- Feeling drained. Do you dread encounters with this person? Instead of looking forward to connections with this person, you feel angst. Instead of feeling happy and productive, you’re always mentally, emotionally, and even physically drained, it’s time to re-evaluate.
- Lack of trust. Your thoughts go to questions of his/ her intent, behavior, whereabouts, actions, or thoughts about you or your relationship. A relationship without trust is like a car without gas: You can stay in it all you want, but it won’t go anywhere.
- Hostile atmosphere. Constant anger is a sure sign of an unhealthy relationship. You should never be around hostility because it makes you feel unsafe.
- No common ground. If you do not feel able to share your thoughts, core values, dreams, goals and desires without ridicule, ask yourself where is the common ground? A one-sided relationship can never run smoothly.
- Constant judgment. In judgmental relationships, criticism is not intended to be helpful but rather to belittle.
- Persistent unreliability. Do you feel you can depend on this person? Do you believe they will do as they say and follow through? Mutual reliability is important to building trust and is at the core of any good relationship.
- Nonstop narcissism. If the other party’s interest in the relationship is really just a reflection of him or herself, it’s impossible to achieve any kind of balance.
- Loaded with negative energy. It’s almost impossible for anything positive to come out of a relationship filled with negativity.
- Lack of communication. Without useful and effective communication, there is no relationship. Period.
- Continuous disrespect. Mutual, and I stress mutual respect is the first requirement of a good partnership/marriage/relationship.
- Mutual avoidance. If you spend your time avoiding each other, that tells you all you need to know.
- Insufficient support. If you cannot turn to each other, and feel safe, trusted and respected, what is your reason to be in this relationship?
- Ceaseless control issues. If one person is in control, or a constant tug-of-war is going on, you’re probably spending too much energy navigating the relationship.
- Never-ending drama. Good relationships improve your life; they don’t make it messier. If you feel you are caught in the middle and feel uneasy… you are part of a drama circle.
- Persistent self-betrayal. If you find yourself changing your opinions to please someone else, you’re in a damaging relationship. If you are changing yourself, letting go of your life’s vision, your dreams and your friends to make someone else happy, you are in a toxic relationship.
- Constant challenges. All relationships go through challenges, but good relationships work through them. If you feel the other person is not willing to make their own personal changes and personal growth, and only blames you for their pain, you are in a toxic relationship.
- Feelings of unworthiness. It’s an insidious thing negative relationships do: They leave you feeling you don’t deserve any better.
- Vibes of entrapment. Is the other person a positive force in your life, or are you there because you don’t see any way out?
- Always undermining. If a relationship can’t be reassuring, it’s failing a crucial test.
- Empty pretense. Smiles don’t always mean everything is OK. We can sense and feel when we are being lied to or manipulated. Trust your gut.
- Packed with uncertainty. When nothing is sure, forward movement feels impossible.
- Brimming with envy. Partners are never equal in all aspects, but that should be a source of strength, not of a source of disruptive envy.
- Shortage of autonomy. Anyone in any relationship should have the right to say no. And the other person would respect that and not pressure to ‘get their way’.
- Permeates victimhood. You can’t move onto the future if you’re tied to someone who’s still stuck in the past.
- Diminishes your self-worth. When you’re in a relationship with someone who doesn’t acknowledge your value, it can be hard to see it yourself.
- Laced with dishonesty. Every lie between partners undercuts a little bit of the relationship.
- Makes you unhappy. If someone is constantly making you unhappy, you owe it to yourself to let that person go.
- Feels uncomfortable. Sometimes your mind needs more time to discover what your heart already knows.
- Lowers your high standards. Toxic relationships can cause us to slowly begin accepting what was once not acceptable.
- Senses stagnant. Growth and learning are vital, and you can’t afford to be cut off from them.
- Cuts corners. Nothing is ever worth cutting corners, or accepting anything that is second rate.
- Filled with criticism. A nonstop barrage of criticism never helped anyone improve; it’s not about making things better but boosting the critic’s ego.
- Brings out the worst. If you are constantly being your worst, you cannot be your best self.
- Cannot do anything right. If you cannot do anything right, maybe the relationship is all wrong.
Relationships are important, and a toxic relationship can cost you dearly in time and energy that you could be putting to much better use.
If you would like help getting out of a Toxic Relationship, click here to setup time to talk with Tina Marie about Planning Your Escape.